The Invisible Torment Pt 1 – Is it me?

We hear so much in the news about domestic abuse and I wanted to share with you my experience and I wanted to let people know that there is life after domestic abuse.

To let you know that you can get out and be a different person. Whether it’s through your own courage or with the help of others who care about you, it’s to let you know that there’s no need to live in fear, or to flinch when someone lifts a hand.

I want you to know that those memories can have their power taken away, and that there can be no more emotion attached to them.

I want to use all that I have learnt to help women & men who have been victims, to become true survivors and be the people they’re meant to be.

When does being hit by your spouse become domestic violence… is it the first time or do you wait until it’s happened a few times?

Do you see yourself as a victim or a survivor?

Does the thought of the abuse create the misery related to it?

Do you feel that you are who you are because of circumstances?

We read so much in the news and media about people dying or being badly hurt whilst in abusive relationships. There is a way to get out…but you need to make that choice before it’s too late. Talk to your friends and family, get their advice or seek professional advice, but get out.

“Love is a state of being, your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form” – Eckhart Tolle 

Seeing your old life as a movie

Have you had “failed” marriages or relationships for one reason or another?

Do you actually see it as failure or as “thank god I followed my gut/heart and got out of there” and never give it a second thought?

Yes, it was part of your life, a part that may have created children, as mine did, but I look back on it now and its like knowing that I had watched the whole movie, but only remembering the “scary” parts, which thankfully, no longer have the emotions or feelings attached to them that they did at the time, (after many years of therapy and finally finding that hypnotherapy & NLP were the ones that worked). They are all just thoughts in my head, like being frightened of spiders, take away the scary feeling attached to it and it’s no longer a problem, it’s hard to explain how to associate with it now, I knew it happened, but there are no emotions around it.

Abuse takes many forms

Whether it’s physical, emotional, sexual or mental abuse, 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence over their lifetimes and between 6-10% of women suffer domestic violence in a given year (Council of Europe, 2002).

Less than half of all incidents of domestic violence are reported to the police, but they still receive one domestic violence call every minute in the UK

The relationship that had the biggest impact on my life was my first marriage and was probably the one that stripped me of my confidence the most… thankfully I had the courage to get out.

To hear my story and how I’m now able to help people who are going through something similar, please follow our blog