Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in a rut with your life?
You might feel like there’s no way out of a situation you’re in, whether it’s a job, a relationship or even a financial situation.
You spend days, hours, weeks, or longer thinking to yourself, “Things have to get better, I can’t keep going on like this”, or, “why do these things always happen to me, every time I try to get back on my feet something else happens.”
Think about what it is you’re focussing on. Are you thinking about the reasons you always have bad relationships, find the wrong guy or girl, or never have any money? Do you wonder why you hate your job, and do you really have to be there?
By saying “I don’t want another disastrous relationship,” you are still focussing on what you don’t want?
You see, the brain doesn’t process negatives. Think how many times you’ve told the kids to not run because you don’t want them to fall, and then they fall, and you say “I told you…”
You were right you did tell them, the brain didn’t process the ‘NOT’ so it heard “Run… get hurt”.
Not only that, but by focussing on what you don’t want, you’re missing the opportunity to focus on what it is you do want.
Clients come to me, and when I ask them what it is they want, they tell me a list of things they don’t want, but that wasn’t the questions I asked.
How much energy a day do you spend thinking about all the things you don’t want in your life? If I tell you now “Don’t think of a blue tree”, What did you do? You first had to think of the blue tree to know what it was you didn’t want to think of. The same goes for all the other negative things in your life.
If you have anxiety and you spend all day thinking about how much you hate your anxiety, and how you don’t want to feel that way, you’re going to keep it. Many clients have said when they’re busy, they don’t think about it so much. That’s right! It’s because you’ve kept your mind occupied with other thoughts.
When I see clients who want to get rid of these feelings, no matter what they are, I use techniques that will make it difficult to get the old feeling back, no matter how they did it!.
By learning to change how you think or internalise something, it can help change how you feel about it easily.